The Reason for Brigit's Misery- The Infernal Devices
by sofiathelion
Summary: Brigit: Tough as steel on the outside but soft as a kittens fur on November 25. Why? Tears roll down the cheeks of Brigit's face as she tells her story. Will: Will's mind is in the state of confusion as Brigit's stories and lessons intwine with his thoughts on his life.


It was late at night and everyone was most likely asleep in the institute.. well, maybe not Will but Brigit suspected Will would head straight to bead when he came home or maybe he was home already, after all, the fight against Mortmain's automatons had been tough and everyone must've been exhausted. The wind wafted through the open window causing her to shiver but she didn't mind. Today was the day, the day that had ruined her life- that caused all the pain she had been trying so hard to cease though had given up and instead let it turn itself into grief. Day by day she sang miserable songs in hope that she would one day run out of negative things to sing about. If only one had a time machine so they could go back in life and fix all the mistakes they had made- or at least the ones with the worst consequences. The thought stung at her like a bee and she couldn't help but let the tears she'd been holding in stream out from her eyes.

Suddenly she heard a creak at the door, was someone outside? "Hello?" Brigit whispered. The door swung open and Will entered- then paused staring at her now, red-swollen and wet face. "Are you alright miss?" He questioned, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. Brigit felt her face redden even more than its current state- _if that was even possible. _When she tried to speak all that came out of her mouth was a few whimpering noises before more tears rolled down her cheeks. Next Will took a few steps forward and grabbed her arm with a determined grip leading Brigit out to the drawing room where the wood was ignited in the fireplace, lessening her shivers by a milligram. "I hate this," Brigit confessed. "Crying in front of others, showing my vulnerable and weak side. I'm merely a servant- not supposed to cause the misses and misters of the institute any trouble, and yet I need someone to tell my story to." She saw the shock and confusion on Will's face and knew this was completely unexpected for him. Brigit expected him to give her a look of disdain or scold her for making a mess of herself and the couch she was sitting on, but all she saw in his eyes were sympathy. She knew he'd gone through a lot and perhaps he understood how she felt, but how could anyone? None of the Shadowhunters had been the cause of their own brother's death like she had...not from selfishness, greed, and revenge.

"All right, tell me and I'll listen." Will almost whispered- his voice soft and fragile. He sounded tired but that wasn't unexpected- after fighting so hard he ought to be sleeping now- but here he was, contorting a maid because "He couldn't fall asleep" and "ah, stories- I do love them."

Will handed her a blanket from the chair next to him- since she'd started shivering again- she began to tell her story. "When I was younger- about the same age as you, I was living with my father and brother. One day, my father got ill with a terrible fever, he ended up...passing away." She took a deep breath and continued. "Because my brother was already 18 and turning 19, it was decided that he did not need a new guardian. As for me, I decided I would stay with my brother since we were very close and neither minded the company. After a few months when we grieved less we decided that, even though there is death for one, the others still live and must continue on with life." Brigit paused and glanced over at Will who was patiently waiting for her to continue, and so she did. "And therefore, we decided to get a job to earn money and start the successful life we wanted equally. We both found a job and of course, we had to start small since we were both young and inexperienced. My brother started off with railway work and I decided to perform on restaurants and bars since I was born with the gift of singing. One day when I was singing on stage a man came up to me and asked me if I wanted to sing at his wedding party; of course, I said yes but, little did I know that the man who had just asked me was a famous businessman. There were tons of people invited to his wedding and many music producers whom so kindly invited me to different events and performances- obviously I accepted them all. Then something happened, my brother became jealous of my work and success, he firmly told me that the reason success was not showing up at _his_ doorstep was because we were in the wrong area. I was too young to live alone so he insisted I go with him- when I didn't want to he became furious and called me a selfish brat. I told him one of the main reasons I wanted to stay was because I had fallen in love- which was true- but he refused to believe me and being he oldest with the most power, he decided that we would be moving to London where there would be many more opportunities for both of us. Rage boiled inside me when we left because of my own brother's selfishness, I had to leave the man I loved and leave all my hard work behind in Scotland. I was depressed and angry- two very dangerous emotions to have which led me to wish terrible things for my brother, he had taken away my life and love and so I would take away his. A few weeks after we moved I decided it was time to cause my brother some misery. In London I had not found any work- leaving me starving for days because my brother was always on trips and never took care of me, he had also announced that he was getting married and the day before the wedding I did something I have regretted my whole life. My brother and his fiancé were on a cruise ship around London, enjoying their date before marriage when the sun was shining and no one suspected anything. Before they both had gotten on to the ship I had taken out much of the energy and fuel which would provide the boat out so they'd have to row home- the ride home by rowing would certainly take all night and they would most likely be late to their own wedding- ruining it as my brother had done for me. Being late to your own wedding is a shame and my brother would be known for a disrespectful and immature man for a long time. However, my knowledge was limited to the weather and I did not suspect the wind to blow as hard as it did and for the wave to crash as loud against the shore. _Well, well,_ I'd thought, a little challenge will only do them good. When they didn't come back by lunch the next day I wasn't surprised since it would take longer with the terrible weather, though, by noon and soon the evening, I was beginning to feel a slight ache in my stomach. What if something wrong had happened? It would all be my fault. And as it was- day by day I waited but never got what I was waiting for. In the end, I gave up hope and started grieving over my mistakes. The worst thing was that people from all over were comforting me not knowing that the cause of their sorrow had been my fault. It is a burden I bear and will bear my whole life- I have learned a lot but, mistakes like that shouldn't have to be made to be able to control yourself. I was a child, I know, and did not realise what my actions might lead to, but I had done it with only hatred and my mind on revenge and that is something I can never forgive myself for." Brigit realised her hand was shaking and her grip on the lavender coloured blanket had turned her knuckles white- she relaxed and asked. "Have you ever wondered why the songs I sing are all of sorrow?" Will looked at her and nodded a nod that reminded her of a small child nodding to a teacher or perhaps a powerful grownup. "I believe that if I let out as much sadness through my singing then, in the end, there might not be anything more for me to grieve about..."

Will had stood up and was taking steps back as she spoke, suddenly he was out of the room and Brigit was left sitting alone in the drawing room. _Is he just going to walk away from me?_ She thought but couldn't bear to get back to work now so she just sat and stared at the bookshelf in front of her. A few minutes later, Will came back into the room carrying a dark object in his hand, it was a book. He held his hands out and gave Brigit the book. Then without wavering, he said, "When you read you get lost in thought, you become part of the book and your surroundings disappear- it doesn't work for everyone but, you could give it a try." Will took his plate of scones and tea and left the room without another word. Brigit stared down at the book in her hand and sigh, she had never been much into reading back when she was in school but people changed and she knew for sure that she had as well- maybe this book would give her a fresh mindset.


End file.
